-Hot mango tea and some delicious lebanese food at a very hip hookah lounge, (a first for me).
-which it turns out is a great comfy place to actually be able to sit and talk with other women, about all of those things that we women like to talk about, in an environment that seems a little more suited to women at this particular 'phase' in life. (i will not use the word age, i will not use the word age, I will not...)
No ridiculously loud bass thumping to scream and lip read and smile and nod over, no meat market vibe with people just looking to hook up, no strange men dry humping your leg from behind on a sweaty dance floor, no drunk bitches spilling drinks down your back or on your feet.
Remember those days?
Do people really call those 'the good ole days'?
Yep, I'm at that 'phase' in life.
That phase in life where even after being in a quiet, calm hookah 'bar' for a few hours, I couldn't wait to pick up my kids from their friends house and get home.
I mean at 10pm, I was heading home, and I missed my girls so much, I couldn't get there fast enough to be with them again!
It's not that I was disappointed to realize these things about myself-
-That maybe I'm at a 'phase' in life where I'd rather be home with my family than just about anywhere just about any time.
-A phase where although I really feel like I need a nice long break sometimes, I really don't want to be away from my girls for more than a few hours.
- a phase where even a quiet hookah bar feels a little too much like a bar to me, and I'm just so not a girl who wants to hang out in bars anymore.
...Surprised maybe, but not disappointed.
I guess maybe I thought I had a little more oomph left in me, a little more rock n roll, party hardy, crazy wild child leftover from my younger days, ahem, I mean 'other phase'.
But I was a little shocked to realize that I don't really have any desire to relive that 'other phase'. Like, ever again.
(And maybe even more shocked to be perfectly happy about that knowledge.)
To be completely content in knowing that any piss and vinegar left in me is energy channelled quite a bit more constructively these days, towards things that I'm truly passionate about-
-like the sanctity of family, and preserving our natural heritage, and protecting my kids right to breathe clean air, drink clean water, and eat REAL food, and even grow it themselves if they so choose, from non-genetically modified seeds.
-and protecting my right to have my children at home with me, learning joyfully and naturally, in their own time and pace without the pressure of peers or teachers or government testing standards.
Yeah, I still got some fire in me yet. But it's no longer the destructive and uncontrollable wild fire blazing everything in it's path. Its controlled, it's contained, it has purpose, and i like that.
Is it really the worst thing in the world to realize you've reached a certain 'phase' in life where you know what you want in life, what really matters to you, and that it's small and simple and humble?
I guess I'm also at a certain 'phase' in life where I can answer that question quite simply:
Actually, its not so bad at all.
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