Authentic sociality is something that I have reflected on quite often lately. Moving to a new place, making lots of new friends, and getting to know people, being 'likeable', while remaining 'authentic'; it's something that I have found both intriguing and exhausting at times.
The Daily Groove newsletter is something I look forward to every morning. Like a truly good friend, it offers personal insight by means of provoking thought and self examination. This is something I found interesting, and thought I'd share it:
We humans are social animals, and for the vast
majority of humanity's time on Earth, human societies
took the form of *tribes*.
Modern civilization has undermined our innate
sociality in many ways. For example, the "virtue"
of self-sacrifice for the collective good defies our
natural pleasure orientation.
In a healthy tribal society, where everyone is
emotionally *attuned* with everyone else, individual
and collective pleasure go hand in hand, for there is
more pleasure to be had when one's choices serve both
oneself *and* the collective.
But in our society, with its complexity, alienation,
and legacy of "dominator" values, it takes an
extraordinary kind of consciousness for one to
re-create that interpersonal attunement in a way that
actually feels good.
In Part 2, we'll look at how that works. For today,
notice the things you say and do in order to "be
social" -- especially around your children and other
Notice whether your "social" behavior feels
*authentic* or not. Do you ever sacrifice your
authenticity to appear "good" or "nice"?