Social awkwardness... the overriding thought on my mind tonight.
Not very uplifting i suppose, but there it is just the same.
In sticking with NaBloPoMo January theme of CHANGE, I'm just going to put it out there,
even if that means being boring or depressing.
At the age of 33, I still feel so odd sometimes in social situations.
Maybe everyone does, maybe it's just me?
Unschooling park day today, lots of really cool moms that i would love to have real friendships with,
but even though i have been attending functions for a couple months now, I had not exchanged phone numbers with anyone in the group yet. I saw a commercial for the biggest loser tv show for the upcoming season, and this former model is crying that she hasn't been asked for her phone number for three years. I can't remember the last time anyone, male, female, or otherwise, asked me for my number. It's really kind of depressing. Makes me feel like the biggest loser. (Pun absolutely intended) Maybe I have some extremely annoying trait that i am unaware of? Maybe it's being whiny? Maybe it's making cheesy wordplays? This sounds so pathetic, but I have struggled my whole life with social awkwardness, and not really knowing how to handle myself in a calm, cool, and collected manner in a group setting, and i feel like it is affecting my ability to move forward in life. Not just in a being successful in life kind of way, but more so in a having lasting, meaningful friendships kind of way. Why is it so hard for me to make friends? Is there an art, a specific method of making friends? Maybe i should read my husbands copy of HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by Dale Carnegie? Maybe I should sleep more, or listen to classical music more, or change my diet, or take mental clarity herbal supplements? I am going to do some research on this, see what i can find to CHANGE this issue.