Joys of motherhood

2 yr old playing peekaboo with cartoon faces on a plastic suitcase.
20 minutes of snuggling, singing rockabye baby, counting to three with eyes shut game, playing peekaboo. on bathroom floor.
smacking table to get lamp to come back on, turning around and getting surprised and screaming when it goes off again,
laughing, giggling, surprised with delight, getting angry, screaming "c'mon dammit", and finally getting it to come back on!
the concentration and focus , the intention of putting away the make up and jewelry, the frustration of the zipper getting stuck, hearing your children, truly absorbing what they are feeling, helping

one on one energy exchange, fully being present in your child's reality for a few moments,
children need true connection, there-ness, with-ness, exchange, eye contact, flow

yelling 'i not dingy', full out full volume emotional discharge, honesty, defense of one's self, selfness
young children are not selfish, they have 'selfness'
they believe in their right to have their needs/wants/desires met.

being 'in' the world of a child, remembering what it 'felt' like in a child's mind, your inner child, connecting to that place of childhood, the infinite existence of ourselves through our children, seeing your child as your younger self, believing that you are nurturing and caring for your inner self, if not that, then what? we are raising a piece of our own bodies, our own dna, our own programming, generations of genetic code, makeup, input, reactions we can love our inner child, nurture our own unmet childhood needs through loving and giving to our children what we missed as children

we each have a deep inner longing for the things that we innately knew were lacking from our own childhoods, that child in us can become complete through our expressions of love to our children,
neglecting our unmet needs does not heal them, when we acknowledge our empty spaces, we create the ability to fill them.
denying them attention in the light of day, and the birth of sound through identity, a name, a recognition, we are perpetuating their continuance through the next generation of ourselves.
we can be assured that denying ourselves those unmet needs, we are handing these same empty spaces down to our children.

open yourself, sit on the floor, imagine there is not limit to your day, there are no clocks, or appointments, or schedules, nobody needs anything, no meals to cook, no shopping or errands to run, no cleaning to do, laundry can wait, dishes can wait, enter fully the world of your child for a few minutes (at first), then practice increasing the amount of time that you can stay in that state of awareness.

children live fully in the now, before they know of time, or worry, or pseudo responsibility.
we as adults have to take classes to re-learn this perfectly natural capability that we are all born with.
we read books, take classes, attend seminars, and retreats, we buy gym memberships, and always seek someone else to show us, to teach us, HOW to live in the moment, the power of now, the secret,
but we must only be still fully, and long enough to realize that it was within us all along, we are by nature programmed to live in the now, and by society programmed to abandon it completely
we must only return to our own true inner nature to find that stillness, that sense of joy and wonder, that full out, complete, total being-ness, the true POWER that is in this exact moment, and that the secret need not be any secret.
it is within us.

1 comment:

  1. wow, i love your writing style and insights... very poignant... thanx for sharing!