today is the day i will be going to the school and officially withdrawing my little girlie from public school!
it is actually really shocking to me the magnitude of fear and guilt i am feeling. i am so afraid that i cannot 'teach' her what she 'needs to know' (that should be said with an abe lincolnesque authoritative type voice). i knew since before this child's birth that she would be homeschooled, and after some fairly thorough research, i was elated to find out that 'unschooling' was actually something that real people really 'did'(or mayble 'undid')tehe!, and that it works out just fine, and even better than fine in many cases! i am not someone who believes in these ideas about doing things because 'thats just the way its done' (abe lincoln again).
i am not afraid to swim against the current, at least i didnt think i was.

but to be perfectly honest, after only a few months of forcing myself to conform to all these school rules, i am well shaken by the fear that my brilliant daughter will grow up nearly illiterate, with no idea of how to handle herself in the simplest of social situations.
this baffles the mind.
i KNOW that any supposed 'socialization' that takes place in a school setting is far from what any natural social setting would be. i KNOW that the school setting is a hindrance to real learning rather than a necessity for learning. i KNOW that my previously "un-educated" child excelled in all subjects when she entered the second grade, and i gradually witnessed her 'dumbing down' as she was in school being 'educated'. i KNOW that having been an attachment-parenting, co-sleeping, baby-wearing momma to this child; i understand her thoughts, feelings, learning styles and needs far better than anyone else ever could.
i KNOW that i am doing the right thing; yet the FEAR has set in.
still, i am taking this leap, FEAR can come along if it must. what FEAR doesnt yet know, is that i am taking FAITH along too!
(i hear the two of them dont make good companions.) so, i imagine, FEAR will eventually take his leave due to the crowd that follows FAITH- JOY, HOPE, LOVE, GROWTH.