6.29.2013

Crazy Balance

When things feel crazy all around, I try to look within. 

I don't take responsibility for the actions or choices of others (not any more at least- its taken me a lot of years and practice to learn where my load ends and how to stop carrying other peoples baggage around) but I do try to do a little reflection to ask myself what the lessons might be for me.

The onslaught of crazy lately has been off the charts. 

Violent, demanding, rude, pushy, inconsiderate, selfish, imposing, untrustworthy, angry, and aggressive. 

All of these terms could be used to describe the people (or their actions) who have recently intersected my life (and infiltrated my quest for peace and calm and regaining my health). 

I have to ask why? I have to ask myself- what does this mean? What am I supposed to be learning here? 

I'm coming closer to knowing the answer for certain. And i feel like it's some unseemly combination of self love and respect, coupled with unconditional and universal love and compassion. 

Now that I say it that way, it doesn't seem so impossible at all. I can see how this plays together. 

Having personal boundaries, self love, and wanting to be respected- these things do not have to be at odds with having unconditional love and compassion for others. 

It is possible to stand my ground, and still understand yours. It is possible to respect my own boundaries, and respect yours too. It is possible to show love to me, as well as to others. 

There can be a balance. 
The trick will be to learn to balance. 
I'm a libra. I can do it.