9.24.2008

new rules! 33 challenge

okay, i thought for sure i was the only one who ever read my blog when i issued that little 30 day challenge to myself. but then, i got a comment on my blog which lets me know, someone might see me not taking myself too seriously with the challenge. so rather than admit defeat right out the gate, i am changing the rules!
i will be 33years old on october 2nd, which is not that far away.
i sent a text message out to all my family and friends today asking for some inspiring ideas on how to spend my 33rd birthday. i consider it to be a landmark birthday. it's not the typical 'round' number like 30 or 40, but to me, it seems like a significant one.
aside from the jesus analogy, it's also 3-11's(i like the band), its a twin number(i like twins), and it feels like the very beginning of my 'adult' life.
how odd, i suppose, that hundreds of years ago, people were lucky to live to this age, and i consider it the 'beginning' of my adult life.
there are several reasons why this year is so signifacant to me, i guess; some delightful, some depressing.
just last weekend, i realized that i could quite possibly spend the WHOLE rest of my life with my current husband and be HAPPY about it! delightful little bit of enlightenment that was!
also, myself, aforementioned hubby and two girls are 'in process' of moving out of state where we will be at least 8 hours drive from the nearest family member! that in itself deserves a party!
i dont mean to sound harsh or hateful, i really love my family. i just think for most of us, family is kinda like a monet. the beauty of it is better appreciated from a distance; if you get too close, you start to see what a muddled mess it really is!
the depressing bit is that on my birthday, it will have been a year and a month since my brother passed away. i feel like i have been in a fog since then, and am just starting to come out of it. so i want to do something symbolic to walk out of my grief and move forward in my life.
anyway, out of the responses i got to the text message brainstorm-
-one took it as a hint that i wanted a party, so she has decided to plan one and also thinks she may become a professional party planner. (not what i intended)
-one sent the sweet suggestion that i shop for a coffin- bad getting old joke!
-and the one that stood out the most suggested that i 'drink33, sing33, write down 33 things i always wanted to do and give myself 33 days to do each. think of 33 reasons its best to be me, get a babysitter and lets all go do something none of us have the balls to do! (that was my favorite so far)
anyhoo, that little bit inspired my rules change for this self-imposed challenge.

i will start the day after my 33rd birthday on october 3rd and write something on this blog everyday for 33days.
one year, one month, one day after the end of my brother's life, i will begin mine.
not to be morbid, but in honor of him. i want to live my life all the way to the fullest. no more wishing for this or that, but creating it. becoming the me of my dreams, a little bit more every day; so that when its all said and done, i will not have to wonder what could have been had i only believed.

9.19.2008

still rethinking...

okay, i know that last entry was quite the read! but all the new experiences and information i tried to cram in within the span of a few days left me feeling kinda like forrest gump(staring blankly out into the atmosphere, saying dryly,"that's all i have to say about that".
i still have not been able to fully process all the information i got; not to mention all the amazing people, and all the internal changes that have begun to unfold.
i made new friends. and people that i actually have things in common with. other parents who challenge the typical societal rules and smirk in the face of so-called tradition. people who do what they feel is best for their children, their families, and themselves, regardless of what that looks like to other people. and the coolest thing about my new friends is they actually keep in touch with me. they said they would call or write, and they did. they meant it. they didnt think i was some flaky weirdo with extreme ideas and opinions about life and just try to get away quickly.
well, maybe they did think that, but they are enough of the same to not fear it.

i am challenging myself to blog everyday for the next 30days. this is my personal precursor to the 30queries30days challenge that my new friend lisa invited me to join. i'm not prepared for that level of commitment yet. so this will be like my marathon training. doing something consistently every day for 30 days.
this should be interesting!

9.08.2008

rethinking education

AMAZING!

this is the BOX CITY room at the RETHINKING EDUCATION conference.
the kids had a lot of fun building

and then 'de-constructing'!



IMPROMTU JAM SESSION



I THOUGHT THIS WAS IRONIC